Gooseberried

Did you miss me?

I'll start this post off with informing you that my computer now has a mind of its own.  I had just turned it on, sat down at my desk and started writing a check when it suddenly decided to turn itself off.  I hadn't even touched or clicked anything.  It was just like, "Well, gotta go!" 

Weird.

So, Massachusetts was awesome.  The time off was awesome.  6-6's parents are awesome.  We were seriously spoiled rotten by them.  Breakfast was ready for us every morning.  Free dinners out, free dinners in.  His mom is a massage therapist and she took me down to her shop and gave me a professional massage for over an hour.  His sister is a cosmetologist and she gave me a haircut for free.  I'm telling you...we received the royal treatment so it was a bit difficult to come home. 

One of my favorite parts of the vacation was meeting Susie from Everyone Loves a Boston Girl.

I've never been to a blogger meet-up or conference like several of you have, so this was particularly exciting for me.  I'm sure you can tell by the expression on my face.  I think I knew Susie in another life or something, because it felt like we were already friends and knew everything about each other.  I guess that will happen when friendship stems from the blogosphere.  I think I've been reading about Susie's life for over a year now.

The second half of my time off was spent with my family for the holidays.  Thanksgiving is really the only time that my entire extended family gets together so I figured I better go and see how everyone was doing since the visit is so rare.  Needless to say, I was exhausted from my flight coming back so I think my family thought there was something very wrong with me since I was able to fall asleep sitting up on a couch in front of twelve loudly talking people.

At any rate, I'm back and ready to get back into the swing of things.  I finally finished the massive amounts of laundry I had to do.  My parents smoke so even though some of the clothes I packed weren't technically dirty, I had to wash them anyway because I can't stand the smell.  When I first walked into my parent's house, the smoke was incredibly overwhelming.  Then I kind of got used to it as days passed and then when I got back to Flagstaff, I realized I smelled like I had just taken a bath in a gigantic ashtray.

6-6 is graduating in a week and a half and I'm so excited for him.  I'm really excited to see his parents again too.  While I would never want to live with my own parents now that I've been out of their house for almost seven years now, I don't think I would mind living with 6-6's parents.  Maybe they wouldn't mind the idea of moving to Arizona permanently and living with me in my studio apartment...?    

Cow

Me: Obama just took Pennsylvania! 

6-6: Sweet!

Me: Of course Arizona is a red state.  Gross.  One day I would like to see it painted blue.

6-6: But we've pretty much got COW right?

Me: COW?

6-6: Yeah, the west coast.  They're always blue aren't they?

Me: You call the west coast COW?

6-6: Yeah!  California, Oregon, Washington!  You've never heard that before? 

Me: Um, no.

6-6: I've heard that my whole life.

Me: You weird east-coasters with your even weirder acronyms. 

6-6: Well, what do you call it?

Me: The west coast.

Dead bodies

Me: Do you even know what a cadaver is?

Friend: Isn't that a car part of some sort?

Me: No

Friend: Well, what is it?

Me:  It's a dead body that is usually meant to be dissected.  The ones I saw didn't have any skin so you could get a good look at the muscles and other stuff inside.

Friend: Oh

(Pause)

Friend: Gross

A very important topic

I'm at the local coffee shop with my friend, Sera enjoying an iced vanilla chai when she excuses herself to the bathroom.  When she gets back, I realize I have to go to the bathroom too and excuse myself as well.  I get back and sit down at our table.

Sera - I was thinking, you know how coffee is supposed to be bad for your digestive system?

Me - Yeah, I've heard that before too.  Mostly it just makes me have to pee a lot.

Sera - But doesn't it seem that the more often you drink coffee, the more you have to shit?

Me - That's true.

Sera - So imagine how often that bathroom is the home of people who have to take a dump.  I bet it gets shit in more than any other bathroom in the city. 

I didn't know my mind had such capabilities

The other day Twistmaster called me.  I picked up and nothing.  Silence.  So, I called him back.

Twistmaster:  Hello?

Me:  Hey, sorry.  I don't know what happened.

Twistmaster:  You were masturbating weren't you?

Me:  No, it's not needed at the moment. 

Twistmaster:  Come on, admit it.  You were masturbating. 

Me:  Actually, I was reading. 

Twistmaster:  Ah, so you were mind masturbating.

Me:  Huh?

Twistmaster:  Your mind was getting pleasure from reading.  Mind masturbating.

Me:  Oh.  Well.  Kind of.  I'm really tired, so it's more of a battle.  One side of my mind wants to sleep.  But another part really wants to read more of this book.  The side that wants to read wins.

Twistmaster:  I see.  So, it's like a forced fuck. 

Up, up and away!

I'm going on vacation!

I'll be in San Francisco.

I'll be seeing the bestest of all the best friends in the world.

I'll finally get that hamburger I've been wanting for days. 

Back soon.

Luh you!

Sometimes the world is sad

I have a lot of friends. 

I'm not saying that to try and sound like I'm awesome; I'm saying it because it's true.  I've never been one to be a part of a particular crowd or group of people and so, I've befriended a lot of unique individuals over the years.  If you're a long time reader, then you'll already know this about me.  These people have ranged from those that I met in my freshman dorm, student council people, the theater people, the musical people, my English major friends, my international friends, people I met in classes, my sorority sisters, the hardcore kids, my high school friends, my old employers and co-workers, my current co-workers, roommates, running buddies, my hippie friends, my friends who are into racing trucks, my friends who are into rock climbing, ex-boyfriend's girlfriends and so on and so on.   

While it's easy for me to say that I know so many people I consider to be my friends, it's harder for me to label any of them as my best friend.  It's a rare occurrence for me to say, "He/she is one of my best friends."  There've only been a couple who have made the list and my friend, Sera, is one of them.  You all know her.  I've talked about her a lot recently and I've mentioned her frequently over the last two years that I've had this blog.  She's the one that I'll be running Imogene Pass with in September. 

On Friday night, Sera called me crying while I was at the gym and informed me that her dad had just died.  I immediately rushed over to see her.  The poor girl is only twenty-one.  Can you imagine seeing your dad die at that age?  I can't and I know she's handling it much better than I would be.

This is a particular rough situation for me because Sera and I have very similar lives especially when it involves our parents.  Her dad was 70 when he passed; my dad is 69.  This information about our older and retired military style parents was the way Sera and I first bonded as friends.  We've had discussions about this before, about how we've both always known that our parents might not make it to our graduation, our wedding, the welcoming of our children into the family and other such major events.  And the fact that her dad's cancer came back and ultimately killed him, is not an unfamiliar thought.  If my mom's cancer came back, I would die.  If it killed her, I would be lost in this world. 

I've always been amazed by Sera and her beauty, her spirit, her loyalty.  And now I can't help but fall in love with her even more by seeing how strong she's forcing herself to be.  It's like she doesn't even need me there despite the fact that she asked me to be.  And of course I was there as long as she wanted me. 

Being there while she's been in so much pain has brought a lot of thoughts to my head.  I first thought about how stupid I am for not knowing what to do in this kind of situation.  I felt so helpless for her and like I was saying all the wrong things.  Then I tried to think of what I would want my friends to do if I were in this situation which made me think of how hard it will be for me when one or both of my parents pass.  And then I thought, life is fleeting. 

So remember that.  And while you're here and everyone you love is here, remember that anyone of us could be gone at any moment, which is why it is important to keep your friends and family close to you.  Whether they're your best friends or just those occasional friends you don't see all the time but feel like you still couldn't live without, you never know when you'll need them.

And as for me and Sera, she'll get through this with me and without me.  People say that when one door closes, another opens.  I don't know what new opportunity awaits her, but I know it's there.  And she and I will do this race in September and we won't be the last ones to finish either.  And even if we are lagging behind, Sera will most definitely not finish last because if it comes to that, I'm more than willing to slow down to be behind her. 

At the race, as a friend, always.    

Pervert

This past Sunday on mine and Sera's running hike, we discovered that apparently it is the age of the grasshoppers in Flagstaff.  There were so many grasshoppers out that day and of course they can never just hop to the side and let you move on by.  Instead, they hop trying to avoid you but land right on you. 

It kind of grosses me out even though I know grasshoppers are harmless.  I was even more grossed out by the fact that there were thousands hoping in every direction trying not to get stomped by we humans.

Sera:  Woah, a grasshopper literally landed smack dab on my nipple, lingered for a second and then jumped off.

Me:  Well, maybe he was trying to cop a feel.

Sera:  Clearly.   

Do it for me

You know my beautiful friend, Sera?  She's that girl whose boobs I squeeze on a regular basis or as often as possible. 

Yeah so, she's in this band called Forget Summerlin.  They're participating in a battle of the bands here in Flagstaff on May 18th.  If you go to their site and vote for them, and you should, then you are awesome.  The more votes they get, the more likely they'll get to decide where in the order they'll play, which is very important to a band.  Especially since the crowd is voting, not judges. 

So please let me pimp these guys a little.  And please vote!  The voting area is underneath their song list.

Thanks y'all!

P.S.  Goodbye is my favorite song. 

Getting a man's attention?

Girlfriend:  I mean, I tell him what I'm thinking about all this and he acts like it's just whatever!  We'll figure it out as we go! 

Me:  Yep, typical.

Girlfriend:  I just want him to say SOMETHING.  ANYTHING!  Is it that hard to communicate?

Me:  Seriously.  Especially now that he knows you're wondering.  He could at least meet you half way, I think.

Girlfriend:  I just wish I knew what he was thinking.

Me:  Who knows!  These are men!  You could lay down on a dining room table completely naked, spread your legs as wide as they'll go and still not know what he's thinking!