Gooseberried

Happy Birthday

Saturday, July 4th, was Gooseberried.com's official birthday.  She turned three years old.  The 4th of July must not have been very exciting for me that year since the only thing I could think to do was start a .com blog.  On Saturday, again on a not-so-exciting 4th of July, I went back into the depths of this website from when I first started it and read a few of my old posts.  It got me thinking about who I was and who this website embodied three years ago.  I was still in college.  I was extremely independent.  I was pretty clueless about life then, but I was fearless.  All of my posts back then, with my entire fan base of three regular readers, were completely uncensored which, I'll admit, was great. 

Now, I feel restricted with everything I write.  Too many people read my blog and...it's weird.  This started becoming a problem for me about a year ago and since then, it has dampered my style of writing.  It's my own fault.  It's not like I've tried to hide that this website exists.  And I won't hide it whether I am discriminated for the things I say or not.  It is my website; it is me.  Three years strong and plenty more to go.  It seems like a lot of people come here, not because they enjoy my stories or my writing, but because they want to keep up on what I'm doing.  Has Michelle failed at life yet?  Let me go check.   

I miss the days when I felt like I could write about anything I wanted.  It was such an awesome sense of freedom- to just write.  I could be mean without anyone getting hurt.  I could be sad without the people who dislike me loving the fact that I felt depressed.  I could be happy without people sending me hate mail.  I could talk about my feelings without people knowing about every ounce of my personal life.  I miss just writing.  It has led me to feel like I can't write about anything at all and my blog has suffered for it.  This is why I created my new masthead with the tagline being what it is- I have nothing to write about.  The long version is, "I have nothing to write about without people judging me/sending me hate mail/spying on me."  To be honest, I do have things I could write about.  But I'm always afraid of what the end result will be.  I guess there is a great sense of power when one is anonymous.  I've never wished for it until now. 

I went into the wilderness today with Bowie and regained my sense of freedom.  Being with her and no one else made me remember how much I miss just being me.  So now that the Goose is going on it's fourth year in existence, my goal is to stop it.  To stop caring.  To stop censoring.  To just write.

I don't care what people think of me anymore.  It's too exhausting.  I am who I am.  This website represents me and what I choose to write about regarding MY life.  You can never come back, if you wish.  Or you can say, "I think she has some serious psychological issues."  Or, "You are unprofessional."  Or, "You are a hypocrite for writing about what you did."  Whatever you want!  Go ahead!  I just don't care anymore.  I am here for myself.  Not you. 

I am free. 

Here is my new photo for the month.  Just me and Bowie, not caring about anything in particular. 

Bad girl

I've been a bad blogger, and I realize this.  It's just that honestly, I have been way too busy to even sit down at my computer this week.  I have been preoccupied with things every night.  Every night!  Fortunately, I have tomorrow off for the holiday, so I will be catching up on things then. 

So, sit tight.  I'll be back soon.

Good vibrations

You guys were right.

It was a vibrator. As soon as it started vibrating and I realized what it was, I threw it across my car and threw up in my mouth a little. I immediately ran into Target and washed my hands a couple of times. I bought some of those disinfecting wipes and used one to pick it up and throw it into the big dumpster in the parking lot. I texted all of my girl friends and asked, "This might be an odd question, but did any of you lose a vibrator in my car?" No one claimed it.

Some of my friends think someone dropped it in my car, because I leave my windows cracked a little bit on hot days, as a sick joke. Whatever the actual story is, I’m starting to realize that the weirdest things happen to me.

A shiny object

Last Saturday, I had a pedicure appointment at 9 AM. This is why I mentioned before getting rid of the daily Starbucks because believe me, I have several guilty pleasures I'm willing to spend my money on like pedicures, clothes and jewelry.

Because I've gotten used to waking up at 5:30 in the morning every day, I can't seem to sleep in anymore on the weekends. I woke up at 7 and decided to go run some errands before my appointment. On my way to Target, a Nissan Xterra slammed suddenly on their brakes in front of me and as a result, I had to slam on mine too. In doing so, a shiny metal object which must have been in the back of my car somewhere, flung itself underneath my seat, through my legs and up into the driver’s side floor by the petals. I only got a quick glance of the object since I was trying to focus on driving. The only reason I had even noticed it was because it was shiny and therefore, a glare shone off of it from the sun while it rolled itself on my floor.

I finally pulled into the parking lot and shut off my car which gave me the opportunity to see what the object was. It was about four inches in length and made out of a hard plastic material. I thought it was metal upon first glance because it was painted silver and black in some areas. The only way I can describe its shape is that it was like an average sized tube. It sort of looked like the handle part of a flash light. I could not, for the life of me, figure out what it was. I was immediately thinking to myself, Dear Lord this has got to be a piece of my ever-dying car that must have fallen off or something. I shook it around to see if it would make any noise and give me a clue as to what it was. Nothing. I tried to twist it open as hard as I could. Nothing. I tried to pull it apart and after a few minutes of using the feeble, early morning strength I had, it finally opened up and out rolled a AA battery.

At that point, I realized it didn’t belong to my car because I couldn’t think of anything that would run manually on its own with the power of a battery that could belong to my car. I put the battery back in and twisted it back together. Then I noticed in very small writing which I hadn’t noticed before it said, On Off Battery. I twisted it over to the On side and...

Can anyone guess what happened or what the object was?