Gooseberried

Here are some excuses for you

Last week, 6-6's parents were in town.  They're from Massachusetts and I had never met them before because they live so far away.  6-6 invited me to meet them one afternoon for coffee and everything went spectacularly.  I really liked them!  I was nervous, first of all about meeting them and second of all, I was afraid I wouldn't like them or they wouldn't like me.  Apparently, they really liked me too because they/6-6 invited me to join them on their vacation here in Arizona three more times.  I was surprised.  I thought I would hardly see 6-6 that week because he would be with his parents.  But I was there too and it was pretty cute. 

So my point is, my posting skills have been lacking lately for this reason.  I have simply not had time to read Google reader or even update my own blog.  In fact, I've hardly even been home. 

As for now, I'm going through a mean case of writer's block.

Plus, it's my birthday tomorrow and I'm going to be busy.

So, I'll be back soon!

Love you, readers and miss you like woah.  

My dog is a magician

I wasn't even going to blog today.  Once I woke up, I went for a long trail run and thought, while mid-run, that blogging would require too much effort for today.  But then I got home and discovered that Bowie, my Bowie, had escaped. 

Jenna and I are in the habit of putting George and Bowie in the solarium whenever we go somewhere and either of us won't be home.  The solarium is perfect for this as there is absolutely nothing in it for destroying and it's a rather large room for playing and running around in.  But Bowie escaped. 

Luckily, she's not the type, like George, to want to run away and be free forever.  She stayed in the backyard.  But the question is, how the hell did she get out in the first place?  Both doors in the solarium were closed and locked.  Two of the windows were open but there are screens on them and the screens show no sign of having been moved.  Unless Bowie knows how to take the screen off and put it back on once she's outside.  But I doubt it.

I can only narrow it down to something that is high off the ground because George hadn't gone anywhere and believe me, he would if he could.  But he's a short little half Corgi, and Bowie has long coyote legs.  Plus, she can out jump most basketball players.

I stood out in the solarium and investigated for about twenty minutes trying to figure it out.  I have absolutely no idea. 
 

I just don't understand how she can go from being so mysterious, majestic and smart.  Like this:

And then go to being so stupid.  Like this:

xoxo

6-6 and I have been doing something.  I don't know what but we're hanging out a lot again and I have to say, it's freakin' fun.  It's been going on for about three weeks or so now.  I have no idea how to define us but I guess the best way to put it would be that we're friends with benefits who aren't seeing anyone else, don't intend to and like each other a lot.  Sound good?  K.

Since we've been seeing each other again, I've noticed that he hasn't really kissed me.  This makes no sense to me as we've definitely done other things.  I didn't realize it at first, because honestly, I'm not the hugest fan of kissing.  Definitely not into making out for hours.  Maybe only a kiss here and there.  But still.  Why hadn't he kissed me?

On Sunday, he called me up and asked me if I wanted to go get ice cream.  While there, I got the courage to ask him. 

"6-6, I've noticed that since we've been seeing each other again, you haven't kissed me, like, at all.  Why?"

"I don't know.  I guess I just feel kind of like if we kiss, it'll be like we're official."

"Hmm."

I sat there for a few minutes and thought about this statement.  Then I decided to just speak my mind.

"Well, I think you have two options."

"OK?"

"Not to sound so Bob Marley-ish but I think it's high time you start living in the moment when it comes to us and just let things happen.  I'm not asking you to marry me.  I'm not trying to invade your space and I haven't even tried to define things between us yet.  It's too soon for all that.  But, you need to start embracing the fact that we both like each other and that something might happen with us.  Get over it.  We're gonna get close."

I paused for a little bit to let that sink in.

"If that's not something you're ready to do, then we both need to regulate our behavior and finally, once and for all, become just friends.  That means: no flirting, no sexual innuendos, no touching, no nothing that we wouldn't do if we were just friends."

Another pause.

"So what's it gonna be?"

He sat there for a good while thinking about what I had just said.

"Well...I don't want to be just friends, Michelle!  God, isn't that obvious!?"

"Well then you need to start coming to terms with the fact that you're going to get attached just as much as I am and when you do, that does not mean you get scared shitless and run away again."

"FINE!"

"Fine."

After a small pause to let our conversation do a re-run in our minds, we both started cracking up. 

After ice cream, we went for a hike.  Then we went to the look-out point and I helped him study for one of his finals while we sat there looking at all of Flagstaff.  Then we decided we were hungry and went through the Taco Bell drive through and ordered some dinner.  Then we realized that we needed to eat our meal so we stopped in a random vacant parking lot and finished it off.  After letting our food settle, we had sex in the back of my Oldsmobile Cutlass Sierra.  Classy.

But he kissed me.

When you're 27 and have no life, you make things as difficult as possible for other people

I like this house.  It has a nice backyard for the dogs, a solarium for the dogs to play in during the day and the perfect amount of space for keeping the things I've obtained over the years.  There are a few disadvantages to this old house we're living in, the worst among them being a certain person that came with it who I used to like, but now despise because his name is Josh and he's a big, fat dirty dick. 

Jenna and I weren't going to live here.  Josh's original offer was a tad expensive and we were set on looking into our cheaper options.  Until one day Josh emailed me and told me that he was willing to offer the place for $400 per month including all utilities and internet.  He was planning on a short vacation and before he left, wanted to get someone in the house so he wouldn't end up paying for the full rent by himself.  Everything was going fine for several months until one day I woke up and discovered our internet to be shut off completely.  We had had some problems with our internet provider in the past, so I called them to see what the problem was.  Turned out, our pathetic roommate Josh was two months late on the bill.  Bear in mind that this guy is 27-years-old. 

I was mad.  The internet is important to me, obviously.  That morning in particular, though, I had a conference call with an advisory board that has been arranged by my blog host, Typepad and Typepad's company, Six Apart.  These conference calls are important to me and all the information was in my email.  I had no way of contacting anyone to let them know I wouldn't be there and I am Michelle- I am all-knowing, hardly late, and not a no show.  Oh, and I pay my bills. 

So, I called Josh. 

"Hey, apparently the internet has been shut off due to lack of payment."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, so can you pay it right now so we can get it turned back on?  I have a conference call I need to be on and all the information is on line."

"I can't pay it right now because I'm busy at work, but I can take care of it later this afternoon."

Might I ask why a 27-year-old guy is late to pay a $45 bill?  Is it because he's irresponsible with his money?  Is it because he's clueless and has no idea what this is doing to his credit despite that he's almost 30?  Is it because he's completely apathetic about his own finances?  Is it because he's a dirty dick?  Or is it because he'll soon be searching for little girls on myspace because that's how pathetic he is?  Or is it because he's simply a lazy-ass bastard who is not only terrible for the economy but should also be shot on site?

Oh right, it's all of the above.  Sorry, I forgot. 

Josh comes home later that day and tells me, "Hey I just had a bunch of medical bills come in and I'm not gonna be able to pay that bill.  You guys can if you want to."

Oh really?  That's funny!  It's funny that he was somehow able to drive all the way up to Vegas on today's gas prices, spend the night in the MGM Grand for what? $189, drink excessively and then drive back home, but can't pay the internet bill.  That entire trip, I might add, was completely by himself.  He didn't meet anyone there and split the cost of the hotel room.  He was there BY. HIMSELF. getting drunk on the strip.  It's funny that he can go snowboarding every weekend for two months without a season pass, but can't pay the internet bill.  It's funny that he can go out drinking every night, but can't pay the internet bill.

I told him that I was upset because this had happened more than once and therefore, he wasn't holding up his side of the offer he extended us.  We had an agreement, and he was flaking out on it. 

Because I'm mad, he wants Jenna and I to move out.  Oh wait, actually it's not because I was mad; it's because he has a small penis and has to make everyone else feel bad about it.  Jenna and I want him to move out.  Both parties refuse.

This could get interesting.

In the meantime...hey Josh?  Do you mind if someone kindly pulls out that foot that's been lodged in your ass crack for the past month or so?  It's rather distracting. 

X-Ray Sunday: The sadness always seems to last longer than the happiness

Sometimes things are never ending.  Even when you know that you shouldn't act on whatever it is anymore.  If something is bad for you, you know in your heart that you should stop.  But you don't.  You continue to tread the viscous cycle, hurting yourself more and more every time.  And then it gets to the point that you can't even blame anyone else for it anymore.  Because it's you.  You're the one that should regulate what you're doing.  Not others.  But instead, you feed your addiction.  Until...

you're pretty much dead. 

My girl

The entire time I was in San Francisco, I was worried about my girl.  I left her with some trustworthy friends, but I still had some bad feelings.  I kept thinking, what if her warts get worse?  What if she doesn't eat?  What if she catches some illness?  What if she runs away?  And I knew she was going to be thinking, "What the hell!?  Why am I here?  Where's Michelle?"  I saw the confusion on her face when I left.  "Where are you going?"

My worries resulted in nothing but dreams about Bowie the whole vacation.  I had a dream she caught fleas and I didn't know it so then I caught them too.  I had a dream she got rabies.  I had a dream she ran away and couldn't be found.  It was awful.  As a result, I didn't get a whole lot of sleep in San Francisco. 

Needless to say, I was anxious to get home, pick up my girl and cuddle with her all night. 

And that's exactly what we did. 

I didn't know my mind had such capabilities

The other day Twistmaster called me.  I picked up and nothing.  Silence.  So, I called him back.

Twistmaster:  Hello?

Me:  Hey, sorry.  I don't know what happened.

Twistmaster:  You were masturbating weren't you?

Me:  No, it's not needed at the moment. 

Twistmaster:  Come on, admit it.  You were masturbating. 

Me:  Actually, I was reading. 

Twistmaster:  Ah, so you were mind masturbating.

Me:  Huh?

Twistmaster:  Your mind was getting pleasure from reading.  Mind masturbating.

Me:  Oh.  Well.  Kind of.  I'm really tired, so it's more of a battle.  One side of my mind wants to sleep.  But another part really wants to read more of this book.  The side that wants to read wins.

Twistmaster:  I see.  So, it's like a forced fuck.